Living out of my Belovedness

Hello Friends,

I haven’t written in a little bit and that has been intentional. I thought I better come on and share what is going on with my journey right now.

This picture above represents God’s promise to the world but also, especially to me. The rainbow represents that He will never wipe out the population again like He did in the time of Noah. Now, how does that apply to me? I am not worried that He will wipe me out but I do know that He will keep His promises to me.

So back to where I am right now. For those that have been following my journey, then you would remember that the love of my life, Tom died May 5th, 2021. I have recently passed the 9-month mark and have experienced many firsts without him. As time has moved forward, the way it always does, I have started doubting Papa God’s provision for my future.

Now I am sure you are asking how is that possible? Well, I am a type-A personality and this makes me feel that I need to be doing things to move forward in my future. After writing our story, “The Master’s Symphony” I struggled with thoughts that this is what God was calling me to do. In normal fashion for me, I then took it on myself to start pushing myself to figure out my own future.

See, what I haven’t told you is that my current job is a supplemental income position and since I am alone now, this was causing me to worry and fear. I am sure you can identify with this thinking

Friends, Papa God was so gentle with me and reminded me of His promises to me. The first one was that He had shown me that Tom had done things to take care of me before he died (there is more to this story but I won’t share it now) and secondly, that when I chose to walk away from my unhealthy 1st marriage, He had promised to be my Husband (Isaiah 54:5) and provide for me.

For your Maker is your husband—

the Lord Almighty is his name—

the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;

he is called the God of all the earth.

Friends, I trusted Him than when I made the choice to walk away and He was faithful to me, so why was I struggling now when I didn’t choose to lose Tom? Papa has gently reminded me that I can still trust Him in this season of my life.

Also, I have been trying to rush my healing and have realized that there is no time frame for it. I recently started GriefShare and it has reminded me to “Be Still” and wait for God’s timing. Friends, this is something we all need to do. One of the verses that we studied was John 11:35 which says “Jesus wept”. I have read this verse so many times but it really hit me this time.

Jesus knew that He would see His friend again in a matter of moments but He still wept. As He had looked around at all those gathered who were grieving for Lazarus and His own grief, He was overcome with sadness at how evil affects His beloved children. Friends, I am His beloved and have felt this way. Some days I have been so overcome with missing Tom that it has felt overwhelming. I know that I will see him again someday but it doesn’t stop me from grieving him now.

Friends, Papa God has shown me that He is still here and taking care of me so I don’t need to carry the weight of my grief or my future. He has recently shown me that where I am (feeding into high school kids) is exactly where He has wanted me to be for now. So if this is the case, then why should I worry about tomorrow when He tells us in Matthew 6:25-34 (see below) that we don’t need to worry about physical things and definitely not about tomorrow (my future). It tells me to seek Him first.

So back to why I haven’t written lately. Friends, I was allowing myself to feel pressure to accomplish, earn Papa’s love and that is not what He desires from me. He just wants me to live out of His love and care for me. Jesus did it on the cross for me and that’s how Tom loved me too.

Are you living with a sense of earning His love or choosing to claim your Beloved status?

I am His Beloved and so are you!

Thank you for all your prayers and support. I love all of you.

I love how the Message version shares these verses:

Matthew: 25-26 “If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

27-29 “Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

30-33 “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.


🤷‍♀️A blanket = comfort?🤷‍♀️

Hello Friends

Today I have been thinking about comfort and what that means.

When my 2nd husband, Tom died last May, I was lost and struggled to find comfort. Losing the person who brought me comfort was devastating.

Have you ever felt that way?

Working toward healing meant there were steps I needed to take. One of those things was choosing what to do with all his clothing. See, friends, Tom had just moved into our apartment less than 6 months before (when we got married in December), so even contemplating this brought me no comfort.

I wanted him back not a future without him.

When I opened his dresser and saw all his shirts and what that meant was overwhelming. Can you relate? Thinking about emptying those drawers knowing that he would never wear them again brought sadness. But eventually, Papa led me to what to do.

I created a keepsake that I could remember different aspects of my husband; his gift for singing, the respect of his co-workers, his love for his country, our time together with shirts that he wore with me.

Friends, this blanket has brought me comfort, not as an idol though. God has used this blanket to help me feel that I am still wrapped in Tom’s arms when I go to bed. It has given me comfort when I am cold and just need a hug from my husband.

I do want you to understand that I will never think that this earthly memento will replace Papa’s love for me but He has used it to help me have a tangible reminder of Tom and His love for me.

Today’s verse through my Blble app tells me that He is the God of comfort and that I am to use what I have walked through to comfort others.

Walking through the loss of Tom and knowing that I am never alone, has helped me see people through God’s eyes and offer them the comfort I have received.

Friends, I know that you may not have walked the road that I have but we all have walked through something.

Can you look back and see How God walked with you and brought you comfort? How then can you use what you have walked through to comfort others? Choosing to offer that to someone else shines His light in their darkness.

What or who has God brought to comfort you? And now who is God calling you to comfort today?

Take that step and pass it on.


Real or Fake? Who do you project?

Community.. what does that mean? The dictionary definition tells us the following: a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

So why am I talking about community? Community is what I think of when I think of my life group. We are coming together to fellowship with shared common attitudes, interests, and goals. What are those common things.. well, our love of Jesus and our love for each other.

If you haven’t figured it out, I LOVE my life group. Monday nights are something I look forward to as do the other members of my group. It’s the one place where we can be raw and real with each other. This is especially important to me because I have lived my life wearing masks to protect others’ feelings while ignoring my own.
I have realized that I can no longer do this. Why? Because it is too hard and I would rather live authentically with people.

My life group gives me the ability to be myself when the world is yelling at me to be someone else. Jesus calls me to be authentic to the world so that through me, I reflect Him.

Romans 12 verses 1 & 2 from the Message version tells us how to live authentically and reflect Him.
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

I choose real over falseness any day. Do you have people in your life willing to be raw and real with you and are you willing to be that for someone else? Friends, we all need someone or to be that for someone else. If I can be that for you, please let me know.

All my love to you,


P.S. Please feel free to share my posts. I want God to be glorified in as many lives as possible. Thank you

Feeling Invisible..but fully loved

Love this verse because it is how I am loved by Jesus and what Tom modeled to me and did for me.

I want my life to reflect this. 

Today, I was honored to love on people who are considered invisible in our world.. the homeless.

Being able to spend time showing them their value and praying with them overflowed my cup

I am the blessed one to have spent time loving them.

What a gift God gave me.. He opened my day to do this instead. 

It reminded me of the story of Hagar in Genesis 16. She felt invisible but God came to her in her distress.. this is what she said..

She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”
Genesis 16:13 NIV

Thank you, Papa.  We are all seen and loved by You!

Are you fighting the right fight?

Everyday, I want this to be my legacy, said of me..

She fought well. She lived for Jesus

I know that Tom did because I heard this said of him at his memorial

When he met Jesus face to face, he heard “Well done, good and faithful servant”

Are you choosing to fight the good fight with your battle armor on against the enemy?

What choices everyday do you make for others to say this about you someday.

I’m working toward my own “Well done, good and faithful servant”. His fight is my fight.

Are you?

🤷‍♀️Can you afford not to?🤷‍♀️

Hello, Friends.. in celebration of starting my new blogging journey, I have decided to do a special promotion on the book that started my writing journey. Who knew, that God would make me into an author? I never saw myself as one unless you count the time I wrote a story when I was 9 years old. It was called “Rainbow Land” and I’m sure you can guess what it was about and what I was into as a child. 👩

God gave me the desire to write “The Master’s Symphony” after the death of my wonderful 2nd husband, Tom on May 5th, 2021. Losing him was the hardest thing I have ever walked through and I have been through abuse and divorce. God used Tom to help heal me by loving me unconditionally and accepting me for who I was. I was blessed to help heal him and love him into the arms of Jesus after his cancer journey. 💝

👰🤵 In honor of our love, I wrote God’s story of us and how He orchestrated us to be together for His ultimate purposes. Our life verse together was from Ecclesiastes 4:12b.. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. We realized from our previous broken marriages that the only way our relationship would work was to keep God in the center. I am so thankful we did because I know that I will forever be connected to my best friend and soulmate. So for 1 week only starting Friday (1/28/22-2/4/22). Our story “The Master’s Symphony” ebook edition only will be available for $1.99 on Amazon.

Writing it started my healing journey and has given me hope for my future. If it did that for me imagine what it can do for you.

What are you waiting for?

Below is my interview about how God helped me write our story

Beauty in a Stained Glass

Why I have decided to start a Blog.. please share with others if you can relate

Hello Friends,

I chose this picture to represent how broken pieces can create something beautiful. This stained glass window hangs at the front of my church and every Sunday it is illuminated to reflect its beauty. But what I don’t have a picture of, is what it looks like in the dark. When there is no light shining through it, a very visible crack is evident that has carefully been mended. When I first saw this, I was shocked at the difference. I had no idea the crack was even there (just shows I didn’t go to the sanctuary very much at night).

So why am I telling you all this? Because this has represented my life. I lived in a lot of brokenness and abuse throughout my first marriage and I felt unable to be used by God. At times, I felt like a hypocrite in any leadership position since my marriage was so broken and fake. I’m sure many of you can relate to that feeling. I know my wonderful deceased 2nd husband, Tom can because he told me so. He lived a life similar to mine before we met and felt like a hypocrite when he was on stage performing for Jesus.

Friends, what Papa God has shown me is that He knew my heart, just as he did Tom’s. We truly desired to bring Him glory and that is what we have done. Papa changed our circumstances by liberating us from our brokenness and shame. But even in the ashes, we were still being used by Him. Our broken pieces were what the enemy (the prince of darkness) wanted to use to keep us from feeling like we couldn’t shine for Jesus. But, friends, when your true desire is to reflect the Son and bring Him glory, Papa will mend the broken pieces and arrange them into His beautiful masterpiece.

Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. ” Friends, He calls us His masterpiece when we choose to be created anew in HIm. What does that mean? We have a choice: live for me or live for Him. He knows my future since the remainder of this verse says that He already has good things planned for me before I even existed. Hmmm, it seems like an easy choice to me. Place my life and future into my Creator who knows me best or wing it on my own. Even among our ashes, there is still beauty to be found and I will talk more about that in later posts.